Awakening to yourself
During my training to become a life coach, I had several massive inner shifts and experienced what I later discovered is called a spiritual or conscious “awakening”. Ever had one of those “a-ha” moments when suddenly everything made sense and you felt enlightened? An awakening is like an “a-ha” moment, but massively multiplied. It feels like something completely shifts and transforms and you can never see life in the same way again.
The way I would describe my experience is that I suddenly felt that a veil was taken off my eyes, and that I could suddenly see clearly. All of a sudden, I felt that my life was not just my own existence, but I felt as if I was part of something bigger than myself. A universal whole.
In practice, how this process looked wasn’t as beautiful or romantic as you might imagine. But I was grateful for every experience.
#1 You start to notice your surroundings
You might start to notice the little things in life and really stop and see the flowers. I’d walk on the street and notice the trees, the pavement, the cars. And feel grateful that they exist and the purpose they serve to support us humans and our lives.
#2 Things start to make sense
I had Eckhart Tolle’s books for years but I couldn’t read them at the time. They seemed too philosophical for me. After my awakening, I picked up “A New Earth”. This book felt familiar and as if it was flowing easily through my conscious mind. Where I would struggle before to read and comprehend it, it now felt as natural as breathing.
#3 Your interest in material things might diminish
I’ve spent a big part of my life on shopping, to compensate for the scarcity and lack I grew up in as a child. Suddenly, the 15+ hours/week I’d spend shopping online and browsing, had vanished. I no longer felt interested in buying clothes or material things, and instead my focus shifted completely towards my mental and emotional health. The shoes turned into coaching sessions. The dresses changed into books. The jewellery shifted into training and self development. The time and energy spent on shopping transformed into time and energy spent on reading, learning, connecting with myself.
#3 Your resonance with people changes
Another sign of my awakening was that I suddenly no longer resonated with the people who had been around me for a long time. I felt out of place and on a different wavelength. This is what made me take some radical decisions, the most notable one being that I quit my corporate job and decided to commit myself fully to coaching - while doing my own self healing work. I also started to meet people on my own wavelength who helped me further my journey.
#4 No longer rejecting your feelings
I also started to feel safe to be with my feelings, including - or especially - the ones which I’ve labelled as negative in the past. Those emotions I never wanted to feel and rejected from myself. Being with my feelings and not judging them is probably the most difficult part of the process. And also the most rewarding part.
#5 Act from the heart
Finally, I noticed that the more I listened to my heart and stood in my truth, the more things started to line up for me and happen effortlessly for me. I became aware that my belief of “work hard” and “hurry up” were in fact myths. In the past, no matter how hard I’d worked, it somehow always fell short of my own (or others’) expectations. When it comes to standing in my truth instead of “hustling”, there’s a quote that really resonated with me:
“Be the flame, not the moth”.
To everyone else on the outside - and often to myself - this process looked like complete destruction. But it’s been accompanied by a constant - if quiet - inner knowing that this destruction is merely a reorganisation and transformation of my life and psyche. The caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I’ve been seeing butterflies on a daily basis since, and an enormous amount of synchronicities.
I’ve had a huge number of answers to questions I struggled with for years, suddenly opening their compassionate and loving doors towards knowing myself.
Or perhaps, rather than “knowing” myself, I should say “remembering” myself. Every day, I find that everything we need, every answer and solution is already within us. Our responsibility is not to seek the answers outside or ask people to give us the solutions, but allow ourselves to tune into our deeper truths in our heart.
I’ve become passionate about concepts like Yin and Yang, feminine and masculine energy, collective consciousness, inner alignment, presence and self healing.
Have you experienced a transformational shift like this, or a conscious awakening? What are some things that have changed in your life as a result?
If you’re struggling in some areas of your life and want to integrate the shadow material that’s coming up for you, I’d love to hear from you about your experience.