Guest post: @ClosetPerfectionist
Beatrice Zornek: I recently had the opportunity to meet Rachel (@closetperfectionist on Instagram) and she has finally come out of the perfectionist closet after many years of fear and logical “reasons” why she shouldn’t. She now shares her experience and to support others who go through similar patterns. I love that there are other people who believe that we can support each other to grow out of our old habits and conditioning. I believe in a life where we have balance between doing well, while looking after ourselves. Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction!
Here’s Rachel‘s article:
“I’m going to tell you about what’s been stopping me starting a blog the last three years.
I’m going to tell you so you don’t waste any more time making excuses for why you haven’t started that ‘thing’ yet.
Three years ago, I decided to leave my job in teaching. I didn’t have a job lined up, or an idea of what I would do. I did know that I’d love to start my own ‘thing’ one day. Maybe a blog or podcast or heck, maybe one day even a business.
But I had lots to learn and didn’t know where to start. I landed a job at AVADO, a digital-first learning provider. I wasn’t sure what to expect but my role involved delivering a course in Digital Marketing which was developed with Google. It seemed a sensible place to begin, and I was won over by the potential to get experience in a growing business.
It didn’t disappoint. I’ve had so many new experiences and gained so many new skills working at AVADO. I’m still there, and although my job fulfils me in SO many ways, I’ve always had a small bubbling desire to pursue some kind of ‘side project’ hobby and see where it goes.
So why hadn’t I done it yet?
Oh I had. In some shape or form I had. Over the past three years I’ve cycled through intense periods of inspiration and long periods of nothingness. Reading, writing, researching, planning. Ohhh so much planning. But then… I was busy. I was working on a masters dissertation, I was moving house, I’d got a promotion, sometimes, all of these were happening at the same time. And although these things are all true - I’m not superhuman and I can’t do it all (although it’s taken me years to begin to accept that), none of those reasons really explain why I wasn’t getting it done.
So I asked myself, ‘if I had all the time in the world, and I had it all ready to go, what would be stopping me?’
I didn’t quite appreciate the gravity of that answer until committing to write this blog, publish a website and share it across social. Finally, after years I was going to do it… and it made me want to run and hide away in a corner.
What would people think about it? What if it wasn’t any good? Am I mentally prepared to put myself out there? People that know me will see it! People I work with will see it! What if people think it’s lame? What if I can’t sustain it? What if, when it becomes ‘real’, it loses its private fun and I make it pressurised? What if I do a classic ‘Rachel’, go all in, work loads on it, then lose interest or burnout and give up?”