Do you have an Inner Critic?
That nagging voice that constantly criticises you and puts you down, telling you that you must try harder and do better, or else you might be discovered for the fraud you really are - reminding you how unworthy you are, of love and validation?
If so, this free eBook is for you.
FREE eBook: 7 Tools to Coach Your Inner Critic
I have internalised my Inner Critical Voice in my childhood, and since then I've always strived to do well. In fact, not just do well, but to be perfect. Be kind, be generous - in hope that in return I will be loved and validated by others.
Yet, as much as I managed to do well and get validation, there was constantly something - that "constructive feedback" in the yearly appraisal, that weird tone, or unnecessary remark from a colleague that was enough to throw me off balance.
Over the last 15 years, I've embarked on a journey to try and "kill" my Inner Critic. The more I tried, the more I learned that it's not possible to destroy it. Over time, I have learned that in fact, the Inner Critic is not a horrible beast that I must destroy, but in fact a useful internal resource, full of wisdom, which exists not to destroy me, but to help me.
I wrote this eBook because I wanted to share my own discoveries that have helped me and many others on our journey of self awareness, integration, self-compassion and self-love.
In this book, you will learn:
Where your Inner Critic is coming from.
A theoretical framework to help you understand its origin. It is only through self awareness that we can start to make sense of - and then heal - the inner conflict that it generates.
Meet your Inner Critic.
The Inner Critic is a voice we try to silence or "destroy". In this exercise, I am proposing a counterintuitive way of dealing with our Inner Critic.
This is a powerful tool used by coaches and psychotherapists to enable us to have an inner dialogue with parts of ourselves that we may have previously rejected or denied. This exercise is very powerful when done with a trained facilitator or coach, but I am giving you step by step guidance to do this by yourself.
Identify all our inner voices (hint: yes, we have more than one!). By understanding all our internal voices, we can bring awareness to "who has the floor" at any given time - and this enables us to become aware of what we need and how to react appropriately.
I am borrowing this exercise from Louise Hay, author of "You can heal your life". Forgiveness isn't about saying that whatever happened in your past was okay. Forgiveness is about acknowledging the burden you've been carrying on your shoulders all these years and releasing that weight.
Getting this far, and particularly after forgiveness, we create an internal emotional residue. If we want to create space for new in our lives, we must first let go of the old. In this exercise I am proposing a powerful ritual to help you release that emotional residue.
Create a new inner dialogue.
Any tool we learn, is only as powerful as its implementation. Our automatic thoughts are beaten paths that we are familiar with - and therefore go back to - whenever we are feeling triggered. It's important to give ourselves the time and mental space to decide how we will implement these tools in our daily life.